Web 2.0 (Another Post Called Web 2.0)

On Friday I left work early for fear of the major snowstorm hitting the East Coast.  I went home and I watched the show Caprica*, which is the prequel series to Battlestar Gallactica.   One of the important themes in the show is virtual reality, and social network software taken to it’s logical conclusion (therefore, the plot rightly centers around high school students).  This virtual world eventually leads to the development of cylons and, by extension, the destruction of all of mankind–of course.

In fear of this future, I “deactivated” my Facebook account today.  I did that because it takes up too much time and makes me feel distracted and it makes me feel lonely, even though I have 465 “friends” on it.  To quote Jaron Lanier from this month’s Harpers, “Obviously, [this statement] can be true only if the idea of friendship is diminished.”  But it’s tough.  There’s a reason this website calls it suicide.  Technically, and this is the worst part, I haven’t actually deleted my Facebook account.   This is horrifying, but I actually don’t have the strength to convince myself to do it just yet.   Currently I can just … log back in… if I feel like it.  And I might feel like it.  For instance, I might feel like it when I realize that the vast majority of people who read my blog come in through Facebook.

I didn’t really do this just because of Caprica, but because right now I am being innundated constantly by articles, movies, books, ads, all kinds of things which seem to be asking me (and hopefully you will be asked this as well) “Will you be in control of your participation in the digital world, a world which in our lifetimes will become equally important to that of the phyiscal and interpersonal world?“  a question which you may be answering “no” to if you are using facebook, since they own everything you put up and sell it.  (Plus I’m sick of them suggesting that I’m fat and a single mother and want Uggs.)

I don’t want to hear about everyone anymore.  I don’t want to see your friends, I don’t want to see you drinking in Prague, I don’t want to read about your baby, I definitely DO NOT want to hear about your opinion that Obama is a Socialist OR about any quizzes you took. (I mean.  There are some babies I like and want to know about them.  There are some trips to Prague I want to hear about.  But mostly I don’t.)

Right now though, I’m just stepping back and trying to take control over my virtual presence, and take it seriously.  By maintaining this blog, my rarely-updated Twitter account (@immerspaetlin), and my email (kmarone@gmail.com), not to mention the telephone, letters, etc. I like to think I’ll be able to have a fulfilling social life.  Right?  Right?

Also, if you’re interested, you might watch this episode of Frontline.  Just typing that makes me feel like an excitable high school history teacher.  But really.

Until later see ya’ll in Second Life!!!!!!!! (jus’kiddin)

*Like Battlestar Gallactica, I feel simultaneously that I LOVE IT SO MUCH and also that the actors are so bad and the symbolism so heavy-handed that I am sick of it.  In case you were wondering what I think about it.

Dreamy Scientists, Part II

In order to quash your feelings of uncomfortable borderline-infidelity stemming from the recent scientist-objectification project, you may send your loved one scientist valentines.

Grumpy

Okay.  I told myself I wasn’t going to use this forum for rants and raves.  I hate that.  But do you know what I hate more than people who complain on the internet?

TERRIBLE SECURITY QUESTIONS FOR WEBSITE LOG-IN PURPOSES.

Call to Action

A pal of mine, Kathleen, and I are sitting on my couch right now.  After we noticed that the picture of Carl Sagan on the back of Cosmos is pretty dreamy (however not on the back of Broca’s Brain), we decided that it would be an excellent craft project to make a teen-magazine-style collage of dreamy scientists.

so far we have:

carl sagan

Carl Sagan on the back of the book version of "Cosmos"

malcolm gladwell

alfred wegener

nikola tesla (controversial)

brian greene

sir edmund hillary (is he a scientist?)

jacques cousteau

todd surovell

I’ll add pictures later.  But what I need from you, loyal reader, is to tell me who YOU think is a dreamy scientist.  I expect my comment section to be filled which means don’t send me a facebook message or whatever.

I’m excited, I hope you are.

Pepperoni Roll Time

By now I’m sure you’re all familiar with a very delicious regional specialty native to the north central West Virginia cultural cradle:  The Pepperoni Roll.  Did you just say “pizza roll?”   You’re wrong.  This isn’t a pizza roll.   It’s miles and miles ahead of the pizza roll.  Forget the pizza roll.

For a primer on the food, I’ll direct you to this New York Times article where an east coast liberal elite lowers himself to the common folk.   Basically a pepperoni roll is a lot of pepperoni, either in a solid stick or in slices, depending on who you ask, rolled into a yeast roll (not pizza dough.  definitely not.)   You might put provolone or pepper jack (or hot pepper cheese, as it is universally referred to here) in it as well.   Bakeries in this area have been making them for many decades.  The story is they were invented by Italian coal miners to take into the mines.  (side note: the funniest part of that page is that the “interesting links” section is empty, because there is nothing more interesting than a pepperoni roll)  They are baked by small family owned bakeries and sold in gas stations and grocery stores.  My very favorite is Home Industry Bakery, and yes, partially because the name is so unpleasant, but also because they are so delicious.

Why have pepperoni rolls not taken the world by storm?   I mean, what’s not to love about a delicious meat and cheese snack kept at room temperature?  The rumor is that health regulations will not allow it to be sold outside of the state.  HOWEVER this is called an urban legend by Wikipedia and also I once bought a delicious Home Industry Bakery Hot Pepper Cheese pepperoni roll in Pennsylvania.

But this isn’t just a boring “wacky regional specialties” blog post.  Oh no sir.   I’m here to tell you that you, too, can enjoy the pepperoni roll–and you don’t have to come to West Virginia (or parts of pennsylvania) to do it!

Notice: the weight I've gained--all pepperoni rolls. all of it.

No sir, you can make them yourself!

But how?  I do not have a home industry!  I am not Italian!  I am not a coal miner’s wife!  Just follow these simple instructions and you too can enjoy a delicious treat that will make you look and feel like a real  West Virginian–obese, but friendly!

Ok!   Estelle’s Famous and Delicious Pepperoni Roll Recipe and Cure-All

Dissolve

One packet of dry active yeast in

3 tablespoons of warm water.

Wait for it to dissolve (5 mins or so).  THEN ADD

1 cup warm milk

5 tblsp butter, melted

4 or 5 tblsp sugar

1 large egg

1 tsp salt

Mix by hand for 1 minute, and gradually stir in

2 cups of all purpose flour

and add until dough is moist but not sticky

1.5-2 cups all purpose flour

Knead until dough is smooth and elastic (about 10 minutes) and oil the dough.  Cover loosely with a clean cloth and let it rise in a warm spot until it doubles (about 1 hour)

Then (and this is the fun part), grease a couple of baking sheets.  Pull out small balls of dough, maybe a little larger than a ping-pong ball, flatten and stretch them so that they are a circle.  Lay it flat on the baking sheet (this can be difficult since the dough is elastic, but don’t worry, it’s not important that they look all that good) and place in it pieces from:

1/2 a pound of pepperoni (pre-sliced)

1/2 a pound of cheese, either provolone, mozzarella, or hot pepper (optional)

The amount you put in each roll is up to you.  I am of the school of the more the better, but sometimes it can get hard to close.  All you need to do is make sure the pepperoni and cheese is wrapped fully inside the dough, you’ll come up with a good method.

As you finish wrapping them up, place them seams-down on the baking pan.  Then beat one egg and brush it over the top of the rolls.   Cover the rolls with plastic wrap and let them rise for another hour or so.  Preheat the oven to 400 and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until they look brown and delicious.

Let them cool before you eat them because cheese burns your mouth somethin awful.

wow. just...wow. also, the ones on the plate were made with vegetarian pepperoni, which is less tasty.

http://www.bobheffner.com/pepperoniroll/hib.htmLet

I don’t really care about Rachel Maddow like everyone else in the world does (I’m more of a Brian Williams fan, OBVIOUSLY) but what I like about this clip is the Haitian Ambassador doesn’t DENY the pact with the devil, but just says “you’re in on it too.”  Nice one.

found via the nerdist

P.S.  Sorry to my many fans that I’ve been gone.  We’re getting internets in my home today so I should be blogging more.   Keep sending your advice inquiries all of you who send them!!!!

Snowpost

Like everywhere in the eastern United States, West Virginia is covered in many feet of snow.  The spot where my car used to be is covered in a giant and intimidating lump.   Every time the plows come by,  I worry they’ll plow Hondaleeza away.   The town of Elkins is nearly entirely shut down, despite being used to tons of snow being dumped on top of it.  I attribute this more to the town’s overall leaning towards leisure rather than work.  Elkins embraces any cause for celebration or lettin’ go.  Let me be clear:  I am also this way.  I will literally take any opportunity to do nothing rather than something, which is why living here is such an excellent fit for me sometimes.  It’s nice.

That aside, there is one major, grating, awful problem this relaxed and celebratory attitude has created. In order to create a holiday spirit in downtown Elkins and subconsciously induce local shopping, the municipal speakers have been playing Christmas music from around 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. every day.  Somehow, for over 24 hours, the speakers have been playing Little Drummer Boy on an infinite loop.   CONSTANTLY.  CONSTANT LITTLE DRUMMER BOY.  For my readers who may not be familiar with the song, let me tell you, it’s the worst Christmas song.  The worst. And the version is a weird country version, with too-earnest vocals and a fiddle.

I might die from this.  All we can do is listen to Curtis Mayfield and hope that sometime tomorrow, someone with any control over the situation stumbles across this disaster in the way to church and for the love of god makes it stop just makes it stop please.

It doesn’t sound like this.

Hairy

If you know me, and you probably do, you’re probably done with hearing about this.  But if you don’t, let me introduce you to someone:

I received this handmade portrait as a christmas gift from my office.  The hair is made of the hair of a client of ours.  The sparkles are my own.

Nerdiest post

If you haven’t been keeping up with the “Word Idol” competition at the blog the ragbag, it’s probably because you have a job that expects you to work at it, or you have other things that you do.  Which is fine.  But you only have a few hours left to vote, and I think the idea is charming and you ought to check it out.

Also, my vote is on either fourings or ferly because I love novelty and also I love eating.

Follow Up:   The winner is fourings.  Congratulations!

Fan Art

A big fan/avid reader made the following piece of fan art for the blog.  It won’t be ok to put it in the banner because then my title would be on here twice, but I decided to post it on here anyway:

Helvetica?  What is this, Tumblr?  Come on, Fan!

(thanks erin)

Also if anyone else wants to make any fan art, fan fiction, or whatev, email it to me and I’ll post it.