Like everywhere in the eastern United States, West Virginia is covered in many feet of snow. The spot where my car used to be is covered in a giant and intimidating lump. Every time the plows come by, I worry they’ll plow Hondaleeza away. The town of Elkins is nearly entirely shut down, despite being used to tons of snow being dumped on top of it. I attribute this more to the town’s overall leaning towards leisure rather than work. Elkins embraces any cause for celebration or lettin’ go. Let me be clear: I am also this way. I will literally take any opportunity to do nothing rather than something, which is why living here is such an excellent fit for me sometimes. It’s nice.
That aside, there is one major, grating, awful problem this relaxed and celebratory attitude has created. In order to create a holiday spirit in downtown Elkins and subconsciously induce local shopping, the municipal speakers have been playing Christmas music from around 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. every day. Somehow, for over 24 hours, the speakers have been playing Little Drummer Boy on an infinite loop. CONSTANTLY. CONSTANT LITTLE DRUMMER BOY. For my readers who may not be familiar with the song, let me tell you, it’s the worst Christmas song. The worst. And the version is a weird country version, with too-earnest vocals and a fiddle.
I might die from this. All we can do is listen to Curtis Mayfield and hope that sometime tomorrow, someone with any control over the situation stumbles across this disaster in the way to church and for the love of god makes it stop just makes it stop please.
It doesn’t sound like this.
If you know me, and you probably do, you’re probably done with hearing about this. But if you don’t, let me introduce you to someone:
I received this handmade portrait as a christmas gift from my office. The hair is made of the hair of a client of ours. The sparkles are my own.
If you haven’t been keeping up with the “Word Idol” competition at the blog the ragbag, it’s probably because you have a job that expects you to work at it, or you have other things that you do. Which is fine. But you only have a few hours left to vote, and I think the idea is charming and you ought to check it out.
Also, my vote is on either fourings or ferly because I love novelty and also I love eating.
Follow Up: The winner is fourings. Congratulations!
A big fan/avid reader made the following piece of fan art for the blog. It won’t be ok to put it in the banner because then my title would be on here twice, but I decided to post it on here anyway:
Helvetica? What is this, Tumblr? Come on, Fan!
Also if anyone else wants to make any fan art, fan fiction, or whatev, email it to me and I’ll post it.
Do you read things on the internet? If you’re reading this, I’m going to say that yes, you do. So you’re probably familiar with the term “sexting.” Like “Twilight” and “zhu zhu pets” and “taylor swift,” this is a new term used to describe the activities and interests of tweens and teens in America. Actually I don’t know if anyone likes Zhu Zhu Pets. It means “the same as sending someone a picture of yourself electronically except naked.” And EVERYBODY is talking about it!! And as this gross AARP article points out, everyone is doing it.
What separates “sexting” from “twilight” and “taylor swift” in this realm is that it worries people. A girl recently hanged herself in response to bullying a after a topless photo she took of herself was passed around her school.
Personally, I have never engaged in sexting for a number of reasons:
1. It’s silly.
2. I’m a never-nude.
3. cell phone cameras make everything all yellow and sickly looking anyway.
I recently had my gym bag stolen. This means my wallet and my cell phone are both in the hands of some terrible stranger, probably a Teen, since it was at the YMCA. At some point, I think when I was reading about Rhianna saying that she feels bad for boyfriends who don’t get naked pictures of their ladies, (yes that is a link to People magazine…) I was briefly relieved that I was not engaged in sexting. Becuase if I was a teen who stole a phone, and it was filled with naked pictures, I would totally send them to the contact named “Mom.” Because it would be hilarious.
Which made me wonder: why are we so worried about sexting? Electronic communication on today’s scale is new. Of course a bunch of dumb people are going to use it to do dumb things, and of course people are going to use it to do mean things. The proper way of using electronic media is quickly being socially regulated. For instance, as more potential employers notice their applicants drunk photos on facebook, fewer drunk photos will be posted. As more Megan McCains post sexy photos on Twitter (nsfw), fewer politican’s daughters (hopefully) will repeat that mistake.
Trust me, things are going to calm down. Until then, I leave you with this.
More fun than anything else.
Are you going to be in Central Arkansas for christmas? Then for the love of God, get a team together (4-6 people, more or less depending on how many can fit in your car), write a song, and play the game.
It’s the best night of your life, that’s why. So do it. If you’re gonna be around and you don’t want to do it, you’re an idiot. Think you know too much cause you’re my friend or boyfriend? Think again, I barely know what’s happening because I’m a flake. AND ALSO I won’t tell you.
Final Message: Not playing means you’re an idiot. Do it today.